There are many things we are fed up with so here are our ‘diva’ requests for coming home in 6 weeks time.

1. Please let us put our toilet paper in the toilet. We are so fed up of having to put toilet paper in a mucky bin.

2. Please let us sit on a normal toilet. I don’t think we’ll be visiting you at your home if you’ve recently had a squat toilet installed. We can’t squat like they do here.

3. Please provide us with a lot of diary products. We miss cheese (every type), green capped milk (here it’s super creamy or condensed or just not right) and some yoghurt would be nice too!

4. Please stock up on tea bags. You do not need to stock up on lemons… when I ask for milk in my tea I do not want a lemon slice in there too. Mmmm tea…

5. Please do not put MSG in our food. It will taste great regardless.

6. Please have lots of cereal. I love cereal… Oh I really want some shreddies….

7. Please do not drive us on any roads where there are pot holes the depth of a tyre. Our tailbones need a break…

8. Please don’t make us sleep on a bed that may as well be a table it’s so hard. If you have made a table firm mattress order recently, please let us know.

9. Please don’t take us to anywhere where we will sweat profusely. We have sweated enough… I don’t want to see a sauna for a while…

10. Please don’t be alarmed if we are cautious. We are on autopilot where ever we walk. ‘No thank you’, ‘Why is he looking at us like that?’ ‘Cross the road Simon!’ You get the idea.

11. Please inform us if you have installed a wet room in your house. When I mean a wet room I mean a shower directly over the toilet meaning the toilet, floor, sink and everything else in the bathroom is soaking wet. What does a girl have to do to sit on a dry toilet?

12. Please do not get a ‘bum gun’. By this I mean shower for your bum or a hose for your bum. I don’t ever want to see another one of these… EVER! They are just another reason that when I go to a public toilet the toilet seat is wet… gross!
I think that is all for now… looking forward to seeing you all!!! 😍